I am blessed to have several circles of friends and co-journeyers who willingly share their successes and challenges. Each time I experience that gift it is a reminder to me that, although we all need times of solitude and reflection, in the big picture we are not meant to walk alone. I cannot imagine my life without these people in it. As a result, whenever I have those moments of feeling lonely and alone I am aware it is a mindset, not a reality, and can then easily recall the last moment of truly being present with a friend. 

It was in a conversation with one such friend, Debra Vey Voda-Hamilton a lawyer and loving, compassionate, mediator in disputes involving animals, that she reminded me that she had listened to my CD series many times and each time was inspired to take those risks I call for, to have a clear vision, and to create the dream of her choice. We were looking at how far we have come and yet realizing we have only just begun. What a gift that is to realize and to have someone who will lovingly laugh with you while encouraging you to go even further. I wish that for all of us.

Debra talked of my clear vision to find a home on the water, in a small town, with a clear sense of belonging while developing new friendships that call me to become even more. She reminded me of my words that the gift, and task, for all of us is to spend the time needed to create a clear vision, to know exactly what it is that we want, and then to be open to receiving it. Clarity, purpose, and openness to what is to come creates an energy of expectation (not hope) and calls us to make ourselves ready to become that self we are wanting to be in that place we want to be. Energetically, we must first embody our next dream; we must raise our vibration to that level, so that it naturally connects to us. Don’t wait for your dream to show up to grow into it, grow first and your dream will find you, the new you!

Here are some pictures of my latest dream.  The first is looking out the living room window- the second is the first view I have each morning as I wake up, and the third is from the front veranda: Water is visible from each room of the home.

 I am now preparing for the next one. I already envision it and am starting to feel it as my own. What's yours?  How does the new energy feel as you envision it?

New Beginnings

This weekend I am heading to a reunion of friends who at one point, in my high school years, were a huge part of my life. They were a group of friends who all "hung out" together before and after school, on weekends, and so on. Some I have been meeting with these past few months and others I haven't seen since high school.  Through the stories I hear that some have followed the path we expected to follow and are still with the partners they had in the early days, others have divorced and remarried and now have the combined families of many children.

When I look at my life along with theirs I become so aware that we are all called to follow our own journey and many times that journey takes us to places we never would have expected. My life looks, and has looked, nothing like what I had expected when I was 17. What I do know, is that with all the losses that were grieved, and all the glorious blessings that have been lived, I never could have anticipated this journey. Because of the lifestyle I have been blessed with and have chosen, I expect more of the same. For each of us, I pray the losses are few and mild and the blessings are shared with many. (Almost sounds like an Irish prayer now doesn't it? Surprises me, and yet not.)

One mild loss of the moment is that this is my last blog posting from this site. I have a glorious new website  http://www.drdorothyct.com and from now on my blogs can be found there at /http://www.drdorothyct.com/blog/  Go exploring and see the wonderful site that has been created,while there please do take the chance to sign up for my newsletter as well.

I wonder how many of you have lives that look the way you anticipated. I would love to hear from you. How many knew at a young age that life would be a continuously changing adventure? How many of you expected it to go as it was predicted by your parents? Are you pleased or displeased with the results of your choices?

Book Launch

Unkiditional Love
Book Launch & Signing

WHEN: May 3rd from 5:30-8:30pm 

WHERE: 87 Church Street in East Hartford, CT 

Join Tom Russo and I along with our very special guest, Penny Rearick from Adoptions From The Heart to celebrate the launching of our new book, "Unkiditional Love!"  A percentage of all proceeds, generated from this event, will be donated to AFTH since both Tom and I have strong ties to the adoption community. 

Join us for food and drink while we celebrate this book of love - patience - humor - and reality in looking at the challenges and joys of parenting. None of us knew what we were getting into until we got there. Let us help you put it in perspective.

Review: 

Parenting is not easy and yet it can fill you in ways nothing else does.

Tom Russo, shares with humor, humility, and profound wisdom his experiences of being a single dad of two girls. His unkiditional love of his daughters continues to grow as do the number of experiences of parenting from adoption, diapers, teenage dating and so much more.    

   

Dr. Dorothy makes a clear point, more than once, that without faith and a sense of humor parenting is impossible. Learning to laugh at yourself and not take you or each experience so seriously that your guilt or self-judgment reigns is definite proof you have made it through to other side and can now relax with adult children.   

 

Coming home again.

I have been doing a lot of radio and TV appearances lately and I often have little idea as to where it will go other than a particular message I would like to get across to the listeners. Recently Brad Davis asked me on his show about my childhood and where I grew up. I was telling a story about a prostitute who lived upstairs and who worked out of her home. She was such a friendly, warm woman with a wonderful laugh. When the Navy ships were in we had men coming over the roof of the housing projects where I lived to her apartment on the top floor as well as sailors who arrived in taxis and who were walking in the front door of the building. She had quite a following…  I used to babysit for a woman on the first floor who was a prostitute also but who worked away from home, on the streets. It is amazing what can appear normal in different environments and to me they were just two of my neighbors.

However, about two months ago another element of my early years reappeared. A friend I had known throughout high school found me on Facebook. Although some things are different including my name he said the eyes “still had the wildness in them” so he reached out and contacted me. This has led to an amazing journey of memories I didn’t realize I still had, to aspects of my childhood/teen years I had forgotten. I have now spent hours with him and his wife more than once, another friend and his wife, and through emails and phone calls time with others as well.  

I have taught for years that it is important to live in the present and I do believe that wholeheartedly, yet the gift of traveling back in time with friends from decades ago, remembering the sadness, the lost, abused child, and the dreamer who wanted more, the laughter, the innocent trouble we got into, the romances, and the friendships, the gift of a community with shared memories is a gift beyond compare. We talked of our heritage, of coming from an area, South Boston, or Southie as it is known to us, that was more of a culture than a place. It was an attitude, a humor, a perfected sarcasm that was only used on those you loved as a game of bantering, while politeness was saved for strangers. It was a community where everyone knew you or your family. It was a unique culture that filled us with such pride because we came from there all while most of us worked to get out. The irony of life is not lost on such a crowd we simply laugh at it. We all knew we had a wee bit of insanity in us, we had to, since being human is such a mix of the divine and the mortal; our immortality was a given yet too many died too young…

With all of this, the memories, the warmth, the reconnections, I am so aware that being found again by what really is extended family, truly is a coming home to a self I had forgotten in some ways, to dreams lost, while realizing that the road we each walked was the one we chose, the one we created, either as a response or a reaction to the outside world, or as an evolution of who we chose to become.  I pray you have the same blessing. If you do, what will you discover? What you will you remember? What about your past can help you see the current you with new eyes?  Can it help you see the life you have created which took you far from where you began and yet if you are blessed, will bring you back again?

A Call to Change and Grow

I am planning a reunion and refresher course for the graduates of my school, a school I loved for almost 19 years.  In the planning and reflection, I realize so clearly that we all go do down so many paths in our journey. Perhaps some we never could have imagined walking however we can become acclimated and then think of that road as home.

Yet amazingly, before we realize it, another path is evolving and we are being led down yet another road. I am aware that for every path I have taken, I thought I would be there for my lifetime and used to resist any call to change mostly because of fear.  However, when I finally consented to the next path I realized I was more alive, more free, and more challenged to grow in ways the old path never would have required and grateful for the chance to live all of who I am meant to be. How many of you have had the same experience? How many of you have come to welcome change as a call to become more – no matter what precipitated the change?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today is Valentine’s Day and I am amazed at the number of single girlfriends who are sending texts wishing me a happy Valentine’s Day.  We all go through those periods of our lives when we look for that special someone to spend time with, to buy the right gift for, and to celebrate romance with. In truth, we all love, or loved, the glory of those days. Most all of us, however, also have those periods in our lives when we are not in a romantic relationship. Perhaps because we are learning to fall in love with ourselves before we venture out again or perhaps because our interests at the moment have changed to our career and taking it where we want it to go or even perhaps we simply want some time alone.

Regardless, research is showing more and more, having love in our life is a necessity if we are to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. The love of friends, the shared laughter, stories, and hopes provide a love that makes life well worth living. My wish for all of you today is that you cherish those in your life who bring you the richness you deserve as you become more and more of who you are meant to be.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

The gift of community.

This past Saturday was my birthday.  As with every other day there is always something to learn or relearn. My dear friend Anne Garland was hosting her annual conference at the Griswold Inn in Essex that day and we had decided that after her event a few of us would have a drink in the bar to celebrate my day.

Anne being Anne instead decided to go all out. She bought me a lighted crown that flashed all afternoon, had the large group of 80+ women at her event sing me Happy Birthday and then continued to celebrate my day throughout her afternoon. After an initial embarrassment, I realized that it would be hard for most of us to take in all that well wishing, coming from women I knew as well as others I didn’t know yet so many of each honestly wished me well as they were leaving at the end of the day.

I was touched to see the kindness and community that Anne developed and saw how readily we all joined in to celebrate others as they won gifts as well. When we choose to open our hearts it is so easy to feel warmth and best wishes for another. A day of giving and receiving reminded me of how important it is for each of us to take in that we matter and make a difference in the lives of others. We are all part of community, and we each impact it, let that impact be from your heart; it makes such a difference since we all need each other for laughter, comfort, and support while we take the needed risks to truly live this life and not survive it.